Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day!

Just figured I would get that out of the way before I continue with the rest of the blog post.

So, yes. I have a mother. But I don't really plan on making this post about mothers day. So...as some of you know, I don't much of a relationship with my mom. And what little I do have, is not that great. But, sap story aside, there's a difference between being a mother, and a MOM.

A mother conceives the child,carries he/she for 10 months (yes, it's technically 10), and then delivers the child into the world. 

A Mom, she doesn't have to do all of that. If she does, cool. If not, she can still be a Mom. A mom loves you regardless of the circumstances. She stands behind you and supports you through every decision. She changes your diapers. She catches you when you fall after your first steps. She tells her boss to shove it when your sick and need someone to take care of you. She is the first one to school when you have a recital or a play. She volunteers to chaperon your field trips to museums and apple orchards. She helps you make a mess in the kitchen and cleans it just so you can get an A on your science fair project. She walks the halls with you on freshman orientation. She goes to every sports game, both home and away. She runs the concession stand. She helps run fundraisers for your graduation class. She sits in a meeting to help plan your prom. She takes the center, front row chair just so she can get a picture of every step you take across the stage when you graduate. She helps you pack in the fall for college. She drives you to the air port. She visits you at the college YOU chose. She helps you decorate your dorm every year.  She does the dougie at your wedding with you. She's there when your first, second, and third child is born. She's there in your heart after she passes. She's your mom. 

My mother, is not my "mom". She takes care of me, and probably does love me on some level. But the way she grew up, and the way we had to live for a while, she kind of left me to fend for myself. Which isn't much of a big deal. But now, she just knocks me down every day. Continuously. Unconsciously. That is not a mom. 

But don't take pity, wonderful readers. Because I do have a Mom. Actually, I have many Moms. I have many brothers, and many sisters. Lori, she's probably my Mom. The first one I call Mom. I can't explain how much I love this woman and here husband, Jack. They are my real Mom and Dad. The one's I should have been born to. 

Then there's Barbra P. This woman is amazing. Her oldest son is my best friend. Her kids are my brother and sister. This morning was particularly rough, because I had a mental break down in the middle of church. I ran to Lori, naturally. And behind was Barb. Barb just rubbed my hair, and loved on me. These two women are ALWAYS there for me. Always. With out them, I would not be alive right now. 

Miss Strong. She gives me hope that this world does still have a few good, genuine, loving people in it. She always talks to me. Every day. She cares for me, and is another one of my many Moms. I can't describe you the things this woman does for me, but she is a miracle. And she is my example of how to love people even when they don't give a flying crap about you. She does this daily. She is an example to all of her students. And for their sake, I wish they'd realize it sooner.

Miss Robyn. I have known her for 8 years out of my life. She has helped me through things you cannot imagine. She is my light house on solid ground when I'm lost at sea. She just...she's always been there. When I've lost loved ones; when I started cutting; when everything in my life goes down hill in an uncontrollable spiral, she's there with reigns of steel and love to put it all back together.

Miss V. My English teacher. She has taught me so many things, that I wish I could some how repay her. She has given me the tools to express myself, and she's listened to me intently when no one else would take a second glance in my direction. She is one of the elite. She is one of a kind.

Mom's are the best. Especially all of mine. 

But then there's my friends. That I wouldn't trade for the world. We talked about dying for someone we loved the other night at Youth Group. I would die for any and all of these people.

Caton has walked every step of this unpredictable adventure with me. We didn't start it together, but we met up along the way somewhere. We helped each other up, and kept going together. Knowing that in life, you can't go backwards, we knew we had to keep going. And thank God I had her to be by my side because with out her I would have gone insane. 

Nick is my best friend. We sit and talk together in the morning at school every single day. We are pretty much the only students there at 6:30 in the morning. We have breakfast together every day, and we talk about life. It's nice to have someone there all the time. I love this kid with everything I have. He's my best friend. Today was rough, and he was the first person there to ask me if I was okay. I can't say enough about this kid. And ANYONE who decides that they are going to give him $*#!, is going to get there @*& kicked. Nick means the world to me, and he was like a mom to me, I'd tell him Happy Mom's Day. But that'd be weird if he was like a mom...0.0

Marquez is a cool kid. He's a good friend. And like Nick, he's always there. Anything I need to talk about, he's right there to listen with a good hug and open ears. Always there to check on me when I run off to hide, always there to make me laugh when I am upset. 

Anna. Gosh. I can't begin to describe the love I have for this girl. She was my first REAL friend. She showed me what it means to HAVE FUN, and be myself. Whenever we hang out, I can GUARANTEE that one of us will do something so stupid, that the other laughs hard enough to pee themselves (it's happened before). 

Tameka is the best person I could have ever met. We have no boundaries or secrets with each other. Things other people would find extremely socially awkward, are completely normal to us. We've cried in front of each other, spit out blue lollipop slime and orange soda on the floor and the counters. Just....she's my best friend. I couldn't ask for a better friend. 

Then there's JT. He's one of my many ginger friends. One time, we were at a football game hanging out. And I had this like..brand new roll of blue duck tape (I know it's not spelt that way). And I had him hold onto it because I didn't have pockets. I forgot he had it when I left the game (which was in November). So, he's had it for 6 months. He always makes me laugh. Never fails to lighten my mood or make my day brighter no matter how crummy it is. Just....the greatest person I have ever met.

Alex and Angel are my knights in shining armor. Angel offered me to live with her and her family until she moves to Virginia with her sister. Alex is always there to talk things out with me, and helps me think through things. I cannot thank them enough for being there for me every time I needed someone. They are my favorite people in the world. No one could ever replace them.

Okay. I am done talking about all the people I love now. Okay. Bye.